It is currently Mon Jul 28, 2014 7:31 pm

All times are UTC - 5 hours





Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 5 posts ] 
Author Message
Unread postPosted: Sat Oct 30, 2010 1:03 am 
Offline

Joined: Sat Oct 30, 2010 12:03 am
Posts: 7
hello, i am new and was referred to by someone from an advice group on yahoo. i am 24 female in AZ and have a bf of 5 yrs. growing up, i never liked kids even when i was a kid lol i know strange huh? i didnt like babies i was the blacksheep in my circle of friends. the girls felt i wasnt living up to my womanhood cuz i didnt wanna have kids. i said there is more to life than kids, women need to get that crap out of their heads they r not baby making machines! they didnt like that answer and never brought up kids around me lol.

an issue i am still having is women think i need a baby cuz ive been with my bf for a long time. i said in this econ with no job or money we r not established in when it comes to money and jobs yet we r suppose to have a baby? they were like yea why not? ur parents can watch the child i said then why have a child? they got mad when i said that. i said if ur gonna have a baby and dump it on ur own parents then u didnt need kids she didnt wanna talk to me anymore lol.

do u know how hard it is to find women 20s-30s with no kids? i dont mind if they are grown thats different. every woman i see has a kid and if i see someone whos 21 i want to be friend her then i find out she has 3 kids! i told young moms i gotta agree with the guys on this most childless men dont wanna be bothered either! i really dont know what to do, im like am i suppose to make friends with teenagers who at least want to have a social life? its like ppl im meeting dont wanna have a social life. young moms tell me im too self centered wanting to focus on money and a career i said thats how ur suppose to be! i told one chick i dont believe in being preggo young thats what our parents and grandparents did, there were jobs, cheap housing, cheap food, etc the dollar was much more stronger. quit trying to relive how our folks used to live! man, did she blow off steam towards me!

u notice men dont gimme crap about not befriending a woman with small kids, but its the women that gimme probs. i told them i value my social life noise free and partying all night they used im too old for that i said u r only 22 what do u mean too old? too old is 55! i do not let my age stop me from having fun and thats the prob with ppl in this country. the older u get it seems u have to slow down and settle cuz society finds u "too old to be kicking ur heels!"

it feels like it is impossible to make friends with anyone who r young with small kids. i dont wanna be their aunty/nanny or friend. my question is where can i make friends who have r also childless?


Report this post
Top
 Profile  
Reply with quote  
Unread postPosted: Sun Oct 31, 2010 11:26 am 
Offline

Joined: Wed Oct 27, 2010 11:41 am
Posts: 520
Location: Berkshire, UK
ladytiger wrote:

an issue i am still having is women think i need a baby cuz ive been with my bf for a long time. i said in this econ with no job or money we r not established in when it comes to money and jobs yet we r suppose to have a baby? they were like yea why not? ur parents can watch the child i said then why have a child? they got mad when i said that. i said if ur gonna have a baby and dump it on ur own parents then u didnt need kids she didnt wanna talk to me anymore lol.

young moms tell me im too self centered wanting to focus on money and a career i said thats how ur suppose to be! i told one chick i dont believe in being preggo young thats what our parents and grandparents did, there were jobs, cheap housing, cheap food, etc the dollar was much more stronger. quit trying to relive how our folks used to live! man, did she blow off steam towards me!


Hey ladytiger, two words about these ignorant, arrogant baby-fascists: Fuck 'em! I don't think anything makes me more mad than mums telling the CF they are selfish and self-centred. OMG who died and made them the masters of dictating what is selfish and what isn't? How dare they talk to you like that? :evil:

I completely understand and sympathise with you. I'm 33 and have the exact same problem. All my friends either have kids or desperately want them which makes me feel like the black sheep. I don't know what to suggest other than keep coming to this site, it's made me realise that I am not alone, selfish or unnatural for not wanting kids and it has given me the strength to be myself and hold tight to my convictions. I don't know how thing are where you live but there are plenty of meet-up groups around the UK and US, maybe even a CF meet-up group. Try: http://www.meetup.com or look in your local ads.

Just remember you are in the minority in a baby-crazy world and to be different, open-minded and non-conformist has always been met with suspicion, ridicule and fear. However it is far more interesting and attractive to be like this than following the crowd and being nothing but a baby-making machine. :D

_________________
"Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live." Oscar Wilde


Report this post
Top
 Profile  
Reply with quote  
Unread postPosted: Mon Nov 22, 2010 12:39 am 
Offline

Joined: Sat Oct 30, 2010 12:03 am
Posts: 7
Hania1977 wrote:
ladytiger wrote:

an issue i am still having is women think i need a baby cuz ive been with my bf for a long time. i said in this econ with no job or money we r not established in when it comes to money and jobs yet we r suppose to have a baby? they were like yea why not? ur parents can watch the child i said then why have a child? they got mad when i said that. i said if ur gonna have a baby and dump it on ur own parents then u didnt need kids she didnt wanna talk to me anymore lol.

young moms tell me im too self centered wanting to focus on money and a career i said thats how ur suppose to be! i told one chick i dont believe in being preggo young thats what our parents and grandparents did, there were jobs, cheap housing, cheap food, etc the dollar was much more stronger. quit trying to relive how our folks used to live! man, did she blow off steam towards me!



Hey ladytiger, two words about these ignorant, arrogant baby-fascists: Fuck 'em! I don't think anything makes me more mad than mums telling the CF they are selfish and self-centred. OMG who died and made them the masters of dictating what is selfish and what isn't? How dare they talk to you like that? :evil:

I completely understand and sympathise with you. I'm 33 and have the exact same problem. All my friends either have kids or desperately want them which makes me feel like the black sheep. I don't know what to suggest other than keep coming to this site, it's made me realise that I am not alone, selfish or unnatural for not wanting kids and it has given me the strength to be myself and hold tight to my convictions. I don't know how thing are where you live but there are plenty of meet-up groups around the UK and US, maybe even a CF meet-up group. Try: http://www.meetup.com or look in your local ads.

Just remember you are in the minority in a baby-crazy world and to be different, open-minded and non-conformist has always been met with suspicion, ridicule and fear. However it is far more interesting and attractive to be like this than following the crowd and being nothing but a baby-making machine. :D


i use meetup.com it sucks for arizona, i found one childfree in another city but they do a lot of things which takes money that i dont have but would love to join. other than that, in other cities in my state, there are zero childfree meetups. a lot of my ex hs classmates have kids, i wanna make friends who arent into the trend of just getting preggo cuz they want to have cute kids. too many young women i see have kids and someone on my fb has kids that i know if she asked me to hang out id have to decline. ill look elsewhere to find childless free groups


Report this post
Top
 Profile  
Reply with quote  
Unread postPosted: Mon Nov 22, 2010 7:06 pm 
Offline

Joined: Sat Nov 13, 2010 7:57 pm
Posts: 68
I just make friends with older people whose children are grown up. They are generally less self-centred than parents with young kids, they are more keen to talk about lots of things and happy to be away from the subject of children, and they enjoy being a 'real person' again. They never have any money either, having raised kids, so them wanting to do expensive things isn't an issue. Also, plenty are perfectly supportive of childfree people.

If a person is sensible they are sensible, having a child won't change that, so really what you need to do is find the sensible people out there :-)

I agree with the "f*** 'em" statement. And I totally agree with what you say about these parents who want kids but then fob them onto relatives, totally grinds my gears!


Report this post
Top
 Profile  
Reply with quote  
Unread postPosted: Tue Nov 23, 2010 9:06 pm 
Offline

Joined: Sat Oct 30, 2010 12:03 am
Posts: 7
Random wrote:
I just make friends with older people whose children are grown up. They are generally less self-centred than parents with young kids, they are more keen to talk about lots of things and happy to be away from the subject of children, and they enjoy being a 'real person' again. They never have any money either, having raised kids, so them wanting to do expensive things isn't an issue. Also, plenty are perfectly supportive of childfree people.

If a person is sensible they are sensible, having a child won't change that, so really what you need to do is find the sensible people out there :-)

I agree with the "f*** 'em" statement. And I totally agree with what you say about these parents who want kids but then fob them onto relatives, totally grinds my gears!


yea, that makes it easier. it is easy to talk to a parent who has grown kids and the ppl in my age group make me feel guilty lol.


Report this post
Top
 Profile  
Reply with quote  
Display posts from previous:  Sort by  
Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 5 posts ] 

All times are UTC - 5 hours


Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 2 guests


You can post new topics in this forum
You can reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot post attachments in this forum

Search for:
Jump to:  

Powered by phpBB® Forum Software © phpBB Group