LoveChildfree has written a new article called To Me, Being Childfree Means ... I can fully enjoy my marriage

You can read it here: http://www.thechildfreelife.com/index.p ... y-marriage

Wonderful description about the positives that come when you are able to focus on the relationship. Given the many negative articles on marriage lately it is nice to have one that respectfully shows how a committed partnership can be more than about just having kids! Enjoyed reading this!

The biggest difference between our marriage and those of our childed friends is communication. It seems like they hardly know each other any more.

Another is the lack of connection. I know what you mean LoveChildfree about running errands together, going to the market for the freshest produce or boutique shops for that certain special ingredient. Most parents don't have time for that because they prioritize all these extra-curricular activities that exhaust me to no end just to think about. They are usually running in two different directions as well so virtually no time together.

I love spending time with my hubby, even if it's just hanging out doing nothing. The childed miss out on the bonding that comes with just being together without distractions. I wouldn't trade our time together for anything!

Wow that article she linked to about the marriage falling apart was very powerful! If you take the time to read the comments, it looks like it is a common thing after the birth of a child. I think it is a shame that more people aren't willing to discuss the negative things a child does to your relationship with your spouse.

i admit: i do take the time to read the responses to the articles. from the article about wanting to be a full-time mom, one of the responses hit me:



it's a sad statement, and this comment in particular could be cynically extreme, yet it's definitely not unfounded.
thanks, loveCF, for writing the article. my personal stance is that it's difficult enough having a relationship with one other individual, but adding another that requires 24/7 attention is just too much for me to balance. for those who can manage it, bravo. i know i can't.

Nice job on the article! I like how you talked about "date night". I laugh when people say that, because I feel the same way: every night is date night at our house.

Us too We can go out whenever we choose to... our cats won't complain

Great article lovechildfree! how true! how true! i felt like i was reading about my own marriage.we'll be celebrating our 11yr. anniversary this sat. and i'll tell you that a lot of times we still act like newleyweds! i think it's definitely b/c we dont' have kids and can put the time and effort into our relationship. we love spending time with friends and family but we also like to go places and on vacation by ourselves at times. we love our alone time and i can't imagine not being able to have that.

indigo

Thanks for the comments, everyone! I've been out of town this week, so I'm a little late in responding.

indigo, happy anniversary! DH and I just celebrated our 11th on July 1st.

A lot of the themes that I wrote about in the article and that you folks brought up in your responses (communication, taking the time to nurture a relationship, etc.) could apply not just to marriage but to any close relationship -- gf/bf, best friend, a close family member, a mentoring relationship, etc. Without the distraction of children, I think most of us could get (and give) so much more out of all the relationships we have with others in our lives.

LoveChildfree, I loved your article.

You described my marriage and perspective so perfectly that I c/p your words into an email to my husband. (Hope that was ok). I cherish the very things that would definitely be jeopardized should we have become parents.

I am in awe of my friends who are wonderful parents; their lives seem to joyfully revolve around child/family things. Beyond the Kodak moments, none of it appeals to me as a lifestyle or pursuit. I prefer hanging out and doing just about any seemingly mundane task together, as long as it's with him. And I do enjoy our frequent date nights!

We are a family of two. And I cannot imagine it any other way.