Considering Sterilization

Written by lngilbert Tuesday, 08 December 2009 18:24

I’ve never wanted children.  My husband does.  At least, he thinks he does, but I think he would be more content to remain childless.

I’ve bounced between at least four different birth controls in the last eight years.  In that time, I’ve become convinced that hormonal birth control is the cause of the following:

1)  PMS.  I never had PMS before starting the pill.  I never even had cramps.  Now I’m a raving lunatic one week a month, with outbursts I literally cannot control.  I KNOW I’m acting irrationally, but I cannot stop.  It’s the only time I have zero control over my temper.

2)  Weight gain.  Since starting the pill, I’ve gained almost thirty pounds.  A lot of that was gained when I was at school.  When I was getting my Master’s degree, I was also working at the same time.  My days were usually fourteen hours long, and I had no time to work out or do much that required getting out from behind my desk.  When I was done with school and started focusing on proper nutrition and working out almost every day, it took me over two years to lose fifteen pounds.  If I work out EVERY DAY and eat ZERO junk food, I can lose about one pound per month.  ONE.  But I can gain that back in an instant.  Last year I lost four pounds over the course of four months, and that was by running about twenty miles a week.  When I dropped to ten miles a week, I gained all four pounds back in ONE WEEK.  I hadn’t changed anything else.  This cannot be normal!

There are other, less important issues, but these are the main two.  I feel like I am not myself due to the hormones, and I also feel like I cannot continue to work out five days a week with no results, gaining a pound or four out of the blue for no apparent reason.

I’m in my fifth month of new hormonal birth control.  During this time, I’ve been working out five days a week and eating about 1300 calories a day.  Yet, I’ve gained four pounds in the last three months.

I’m convinced it’s the birth control.  The thought of doing this for another twenty years and suffering through the weight gain, moodiness, and PMS make me want to beat my head against the wall.  I really want to do something more permanent.

The Mirena coil and all its horror stories scare the heck out of me.

A tubal ligation is major surgery, and is the least attractive option.

A vasectomy for my husband is out because if there is even the remote possibility that he wants children, I cannot ask him to make that sacrifice.  No, this is something I’d want to do for ME, so it has to be something that I do.

Essure also has its risks, and I’m not sure if I really want to try it.  But, as of right now, it’s the only option I’m considering.

My husband isn’t totally on board with this.  I know it’s my body, but I want him to understand and support me.  I don’t think I’d have an easy conscience if I went through with sterilization and he was against it.

I know his biggest objection is to keep all doors open, but I do not see myself changing my mind in the next ten years.  And IF I ever wanted children, I’d want to adopt, and that is something we have discussed since we started dating.

I had convinced myself I was going to talk to my doctor when I went in for a blood test a few weeks ago.  She knows very well that I do not want kids, and she’s never said a word against my decision.  She’s always been very supportive, and she even has two boys.  I was hoping she might be able to advice me or refer me to an Essure specialist, since I’ve already researched several in my area.